The Experimental Relationship
by Bobecca4eva4-6-98
Summary: After dumping Homer, Herb gives straight life a try, by dating Marge's sister, Selma. Will this relationship last, or will Herb end up getting back with Homer? Find out in "The Experimental Relationship".
1. Chapter 1

A sequel to: Half Brothers Half Lovers

The Experimental Relationship

Disclaimer: All I own is the story.

Chapter 1: Homer Can't Believe Herb Ended Their Relationship

Moe says, "Good choice, I don't think Midge could handle those kids alone." Homer wraps his arms around his brother and begins to beg him to reconsider by saying things like, "I need you!", "You're all I think about.", and even, "Don't do this, you'll regret it." He lightly pushes him away and says, "I know, but Marge needs you. I can survive without you, I've done so for almost forty-seven years already. And you've survived without me for I believe almost forty-five to forty-six years. I do love you, and that's why I'm ending our relationship." The man grabs his hand and says before kissing him, "You don't get it, do you?" Herb kisses his brother back for ten seconds, then pulls away, and says, "I get it. You love me, and as I said before I love you too, dear brother. But this is for the best."

Three and a half hours later, Homer is laying in the bed with Marge, she faces him and says, "Homie, I love you so much.", she then kisses him, he pushes her away and says, "I love Herb! I'm not into you anymore, Marge!" She isn't surprised unlike what the man expected, she says, "Homie.. Herb broke up with you so you could help me raise Bart, Lisa, and Maggie." He sits up, crosses his arms, turns away from her and says, "I would've been happy to help out while dating Herb!" She puts one hand on his shoulder and says softly, "Herb might have ended up wanting taking you to Michigan with him or something." He sighs, takes her hand and says, "Marge, I've loved you for a long time, but I love my brother now."

End of chapter 1: Homer Can't Believe Herb Ended Their Relationship

Next:

Chapter 2: Herb's First Date with Selma


	2. Chapter 2

The Experimental Relationship

Chapter 2: Herb's First Date With Selma

That next morning, Herb enters the room in just his pants, goes over to Homer's side of the bed, taps him and says, "Homer..Homer!" The man opens my eyes, sees his brother's abs, smiles and says, "Herb, you're so sexy." He chuckles, leans down and says, "I heard the arguement last night. I want you to know that it's officially over. I've actually met someone online.", "What's their name?" Homer asks. Herb smiles and says, "Selma Bouvier.", Homer groans a do'h, and then says, "That's my sister-in-law! She's already got a long last name. As she's been married quite often. She even married our dad." Herb isn't one bit disturbed, he just says, "She seems nice, and she's very pretty too."

A few hours later, Herb's on his first date with Selma, they're at the Pimento Grove, sitting at a table beside one where Krusty, Mel, and Mr. Teeny are. Selma looks at the man and says, "So..you left Homer?", Herb nods and says, "Yes, I did it for Marge.", "Homer tells me you've been married often, is that true?" The woman looks away for a minute before returning her gaze to the man's eyes, "Yes. I've married Sideshow Bob, Troy McClure, Lionel Hutz, Abraham Simpson, Fat Tony, and Disco Stu. I've also got an adopted daughter named Ling." He smiles, this intrigued him, dating a woman who's been with many men, this will mean that she's experienced in love making.

Soon the squeaky voiced teen walks over to their table, pulls out a notebook and pencil, and says to them, "Are you ready to order?" They look at the teenager and say together, "Yes.", "I'd like a steak." says Herb. Selma then says, "And I'll have a salad.", the teenager nods and then walks off towards the kitchen. Selma looks at the man and says while taking his left hand, "My, you're quite handsome." This makes him smile, "Well you're a beauty yourself."

End of chapter 2: Herb's First Date With Selma

Next:

Chapter 3: Homer Begins To Lose It


	3. Chapter 3

The Experimental Relationship

Chapter 3: Homer Begins To Lose It

Meanwhile at the Power Plant, Homer was at his sector thinking about Herb, he couldn't stop thinking about the man. Was he actually over him? Was he ever in love with him? Homer was so deep in thought that he didn't notice Lenny take his donut, Carl says, "He must be out of it..", "Yeah, you'd think he'd say something." says the other man. Lenny then takes a bite of the donut and this gets Homer's attention, he looks at his hand doesn't see the donut and screams an 'Aah!' before turning around to see the two men and his donut in Lenny's hand, "Hey! That's mine!" Lenny shrugs and says, "You were out of it so I decided to take it, pal." Carl then says, "What's up?" Homer says, "I'm just thinking about how Herb left me for Selma.."

Mr. Burns was watching this through a monitor, he looks at Smithers and says, "Who is that slacker, Smithers?", "Homer Simpson, sir. The father of the boy who donated you blood." Smithers tells him." Burns then says, "Call him in here! I need to have a word with him!" Smithers nods and goes over to the microphone and says this into it, "Homer Simpson, report to Mr. Burns office now!" Soon Homer enters saying, "Yes, sir?", "You seemed to be distracted, maybe I should let you go.", Burns says before releasing the hounds.

End of chapter 3: Homer Begins To Lose It

Next:

Chapter 4: Marge Is Upset


	4. Chapter 4

The Experimental Relationship

Chapter 4: Marge Is Upset

Homer soon enters Moe's, seeing the bartender and Barney, Moe looks over and says, "Homa? What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at work?" Homer sighs and tells him that he got laid off, Barney says, "Because your brother's dating your sister-in-law, huh?" Homer nods and says that it's not fair, what does Selma have that he doesn't..other than a vagina. Moe says, "I don't know, but he made the right call. Midge'll need your help with those kids of yours.", Homer says, "I'd have helped out while dating Herb, Moe." Moe replies, "Yeah, but it's easier on her. Besides if you leave her, she'll be open to some pervert.", "Aren't you in love with her, Moe?" asks Barney, "Yeah, but she'd neva go out with me. I'm ugly, 'member?" Moe tells him.

Once Homer gets home, Marge is standing in front of the stairs with her arms folded, she says sternly to Homer, "So you lost your job?", "Yeah, but I can find another." Homer tells her. Marge says, "Was it because of Herb?", "Yes..he's all I think about.." Marge nods understandingly, unfolds her arms, goes over to the man, hugs him, and says before pecking his cheek, "Oh Homie, I think Herb made the wrong choice leaving you." Homer who is surprised to hear this from Marge says, "I thought you'd never say that, Marge."

Meanwhile with Herb and Selma who are at the roller rink, Herb's holding his girlfriend's left hand while skating with her and soon says, "This is really fun. Thanks for the suggestion to come here, Selma." Selma nods, puts her other hand on the man's left cheek, smiles, and says, "You're welcome.", "Do you miss being with Homer?" she asks him. Herb is surprised, he didn't expect her to ask that, he sighs and says, "Yes. I do miss being with him, but I dumped him for Marge's sake.", "Marge is a strong woman, if you did it because you think that she won't be able to handle Bart, Lisa, and Maggie alone, you seriously don't know her!" Selma tells him sternly."

End of chapter 4: Marge Is Upset

Next:

Chapter 5: Selma Ends It With Herb


	5. Chapter 5

The Experimental Relationship

Chapter 5: Selma Ends It With Herb

Back at the Simpson's house, Homer is looking over some pictures of Herb from when his brother let him and his family stay at his mansion in the living room, sighing while doing so saying things like, "Herb..", "I really need your love.", and, "Please come back to me." Bart and Lisa had arrived home from school just two minutes ago, they go over to their dad, Bart's the first to speak, "Unky Herb sure was nice enough to let us stay with him." Lisa nods and says, "That's why we returned the favor.", "Home boy, you shouldn't mope like this, you know your life sucks, just get drunk like ya always do." Bart says. Homer is too sad to care what the boy said, so he says, "I miss him."

Herb and Selma were walking back to the Simpson's house hand in hand. Herb says, "That was fun. We should do this again." Selma isn't one bit surprised, the man was probably just trying to avoid going back with his brother. Herb stops, pulls Selma close, and says before kissing her, "Let me stay at your place! I can't go back! Homer's obviously a wreck without me." Selma pushes the man away, she did need a man in her life, but not one who wants her just as a way to avoid someone, she tells Herb, "You're crazy! Homer maybe a buffoon, but he loves you!"

Soon Herb and Selma enter the living room, see Homer on the couch, who is crying, Herb looks at Selma, who motions for him to go over and talk to his brother. Herb sighs, goes over, sits next to him, puts one hand on the man's shoulder and says concerned, "Homer, what's wrong?" Homer doesn't look up, doesn't even say anything, he just continues to cry, Herb becomes concerned, he hugs his brother while saying, "Shh, calm down, tell me what's the matter, brother." Homer still continues to cry but says this, "You.."

Herb becomes worried, was his brother mad at him, would he punch him? Homer then looks up, grabs his brother's collar, pulls him close and says, "You don't know how much I need you!" Herb sighs, looks in his brother's watery eyes, wipes the tears away and says, "What happened?" Homer then tells him that because of how he can't stop thinking about him he lost his job, Herb isn't shocked he actually smiles a little.

Selma looks at Herb, motions for him to follow her, which he does. Once they're in the kitchen, Selma says, "He really needs you. I think we should break up." Herb had a feeling this line was coming, so he starts to say, "But Selma. Marge..", "Marge'll be fine! I'm ending this, so go back to Homer!" Herb sighs, he did want Homer back, so he exits the kitchen, sits next to Homer, puts both hands on his cheeks and says, "Selma broke up with me. So you wanna get back together, brother?" Homer smiles and says before kissing the man, "Yes!"

The end


End file.
